


Step by step

by Vallkyr



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, More tags might be added, Multi, No Hunting, No Supernatural Creatures, Soulmate Searching, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, the Impala is the family talisman
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-11-02 23:24:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10954896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vallkyr/pseuds/Vallkyr
Summary: “Aw crap, we almost forgot!”“Forgot what, Mom?”“16th birthday means the first letter.”“My soulmate...”On the 16th birthday the first letter of a person's soulmate's name appears on their wrist. A new letter comes with every step that brings them closer together until they evetually meet. Dean's journey starts with a C.





	1. Cas

**Author's Note:**

> Heyho! I felt the strong desire to write Destiel as Soulmates so I gave it a try. This isn't really proofread so please don't hesitate to tell me when you find any mistakes. I'm always happy to get comments so if you have any opinions or ideas please let me hear them. Well then I hope you enjoy reading this! :)

Dean releases a low growl while he straightens his arms to lift his upper body up from the mattress, huffing in annoyance as he turns his body around so he can crawl out of the comfortable warmth of his bed. After taking a moment to rub the sleep out of his eyes he grabs a random pair of sweatpants and maneuvers his ass into them before dragging himself into the bathroom.

It's only when he is done with his morning hygiene and stumbles into the kitchen that his still too tired brain realizes what day it is: 24th of January, his birthday. His 16th birthday to be precise. “Happy Birthday, my dear.” His mother says with a fond smile before tiptoeing to place a kiss on his forehead.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Next is his dad, giving him a quick hug and a clap on the back while saying “Happy birthday.”

Dean thanks him too and doesn't even have time to pull away fully before he already has Sam wrapped around his torso. “Happy birthday, Dean!”

“Thanks, Sammy.” The elder answers with a chuckle while ruffling his brother's hair.

“C'mon sit down everyone breakfast's ready.”

Breakfast passes pretty much like it does every Saturday, Dad reading the newspaper, Sammy telling them all kinds of stuff about school, Dean throwing in an answer every now and then while their Mother mostly just listens to them. It's only when Dean reaches out for the butter and his younger brother suddenly grabs his arm that things change.

“Dean, look at your wrist.”

“What do you mean?”

“Aw crap, we almost forgot!”

“Forgot what, Mom?”

“16th birthday means the first letter.”

“My soulmate...” Dean whispers in realization, more to himself than to the others. How could he forget about it? Sure he was still tired from barely having slept for four hours and he wasn't really the type for long, romantic relationships but this is about his soulmate! He takes a careful glance down where an elegantly written baroque styled C is gracing his wrist.

“Your soulmate sure has a nice handwriting.” His Dad comments with a grin, looking at Dean's wrist just as curiously as the rest of the family.

“Guess so. Almost makes me feel sorry for mine.”

~

Dean spends most of his day with a stomach full of pie, looking down at his wrist and wondering what Name the C is standing for. Chelsea? Christine? Celina?Charlie? He keeps thinking about it but with just the first letter, there are way too many possibilities. “Guess I'll just have to try and get closer to you huh?” Dean whispers to himself as he lays in bed, still gazing at the classy letter engraved to the far left inside of his wrist. That means it's a rather long name right? Which also means there'll be lots of things for Dean to do before eventually meeting his soulmate. That lucky devil has it easy, only having two steps to do to fill the middle of his name.

~

When Dean nears the end of High School is when things get interesting again, at first he's far too excited to notice the tingling in his lower arm. His parents are really giving him the Impala after all! Sure, the car isn't exactly new and he'll have to do a lot of reparations together with his Dad but he has his own car now and he'll sure as hell get that baby ready until he's 18.

It's only in the evening during a casual chat with Bobby that he notices: There is another letter! Though Ca didn't occur in any ideas Dean has had so far, he can't bring himself to care 'cause hell he just got one step closer to meeting his soulmate! His mother seems to be really happy about it, saying that the car has to be some sort of talisman to their family and looking at their father with a soft look of “We made the right decision.”

From that day on nearly his entire free time is spent with getting the Impala in a good condition again. It's hard and tiring and never ceases to get his clothes full of oil and dirt but that's so worth it. Dean has always loved this car, when he and Sam were still little they used to play in and around it a lot, it's showing but that only makes the Impala all the more special. It's their car and about as much part of the family as Dad's best friend Bobby is.

~

It feels like the most natural thing in the world in the world for Dean to become apprentice at a repair shop after finishing High School. Thanks to his Dad and the Impala he already has a ton of experience, which the shop owner seems to be rather pleased about so getting the job is a piece of cake. As soon as the guy welcomes him with a firm handshake Dean can feel that tingling in his wrist again. In that moment he really has to summon all his self restrain to keep his fucking shit together and not lose it in front of his employer, though as soon as he gets through the front door to their home he starts screaming.

“Cas!” A few seconds later a confused looking Sam comes scrambling down the stairs.

“Cas?”

“Cas.” Dean repeats with a wide smile, holding up his wrist so Sam can see the third letter added to his inscription after getting the job. His younger brother seems to be just as happy as he himself. Honestly, Dean is beyond confused with the letters, what kind of name begins with Cas and is that long? Casey? No that's far too short. Cassandra? Nope, too long. Damn, he wants to know that name already. It's been about two years now and he's at three letters without any idea what his soulmate's name could be. Patience isn't really Dean's trademark characteristic.

~

Though that's exactly what the universe wants to test at all costs. Four years later he's still not a single step further. By now everyone around him has settled on calling his special someone Cas whenever the topic comes up. No matter what Dean does, no matter how many bars, clubs and parties he visits, no matter how many people he meets it doesn't get him anywhere near his soulmate, nor does it help him forget that Cas is still somewhere out there hopefully searching for him as well.

“Cas doesn't seem to be the social type to go out drinking.” Dean huffs out before gulping down some pain killers, hoping it will deaden the light headache from apparently one too much purple nurple.

“Don't worry, my dear. It will be fine, even if it might not look like that now Cas is meant for you.”

“Hope you're right.” His mom gives him a comforting look before sitting down next to him.

“Honestly, I didn't like your father when we first met and that was mutual. I accidentally scratched his car while trying to get into that far too small parking spot. He immediately started throwing a fit and everything I could think of was 'What an asshole'.”

Dean just raises a brow at his mom. “You can't expect him to stay calm after scratching his baby.”

“Yeah, I know. Now at least. Anyways he was super angry and asked me for my name and address so he'd find me when it's time to pay for the reparations. But as soon as I said my name was Mary he actually looked at me for the first time. That was the moment when everything was clear.”

“The Impala really is our family talisman huh?” Sam suddenly joins the conversation from where he's standing in the door frame while gazing down at his own wrist. “I wish I already had any trace.” Dean gets up to pat his younger brother's shoulder. Two years ago, on Sammy's 16th birthday a neatly written K appeared on his wrist. Nothing has progressed since then.

“You'll find your soulmate, Sammy.”

“So will you.”

“Six years and three letters aren't exactly the best status.”

“Maybe Cas lives a bit further away.” Their Mom suddenly points out which immediately ignites an idea inside Dean.

“We'll go on a road trip.”

“What?”

“You, me and the Impala, Sammy. Just the three of us. Maybe that'll get us closer to those fancy handwriting people.”

“I-I don't know, Dean...”

“C'mon, it's summer, you just finished school and I have two weeks off when will we ever have an opportunity like that again?”

“... Okay. Let's do it.”

“Knew you'd agree. So, you plan the route and I'll make preparations.” They agreed with a simple nod before going to their separate tasks.

~

Two days later both of them are sitting in the car, windows down and wind rushing past them while they travel down the endless road in front of them over the sound of Smoke on the water. Everything would be perfect, emphasis on would, if Sam wasn't so strangely tense.

“What's wrong, Sammy?”

“Nothing. Why would something be wrong?”

“I know you Sam, why don't you just tell me what's bothering you?”

“I...” Sam sighs, looking out of the open window before continuing in an unusual low voice. “I want to go to College. Actually I already sent an application to Stanford a few days before we left.”

Dean whistles in acknowledgment, trying to find the right words to say. “Stanford huh? That's uh that's pretty far away.”

“Yep.”

“Dad won't be happy.”

“Definitely not.”

“But Mom will be so proud of you.”

“I’ll have to be accepted first.”

“They’d be really fucking dumb to let you slip through their fingers.”

“Dad won't let me go.”

“What about a compromise? Does it really have to be Stanford? There has to be an option that isn’t you know at the far end of the country, right?”

“No. You don’t understand, it **has to be** Stanford.”

“Why?”

Hesitantly, Sam begins to fold back the sleeve of his plaid, revealing his wrist and holding it in front of the staring wheel. Dean almost keeps staring at it instead of focusing on the road, only snapping out of his daze when Sam retreats his arm.

“Ke. So you got one step closer to meeting your soulmate.”

“That appeared right after I sent the application to Stanford.”

“Then you have to go.”

“But Dad, our entire family and friends-“

“Sam, you’ve been searching for a trace for two years now. Go and find your soulmate, you can visit us all you want during the holidays. Don’t worry I’ll talk to Dad and I’m sure Mom will support you, too. Everything will be fine, Sammy.”

“Thanks, Dean.” For the first time during their trip the younger one smiles in honest, it immediately makes Dean’s heart lighter. He will help Sam find his soulmate, no matter what it takes. That’s what family does, supporting each other through all difficulties.

~

“Dean, if Cas actually lives here, I swear I’ll sell my soul to the devil.”

“Hey, the possibility exists!”

“Your soulmate who we've been calling Cas for years now lives in Uncasville, suuure.”

“Why not? Anyways, you planned our rood so shut your cakehole.”

“Do you feel something?”

“Not a bit.”

“See?”

They spent the night like every night of their journey, in a cheap motel with two single beds. 

_So Uncasville isn't the right place either huh?_

Dean gets his arm out from underneath his pillow to look at his wrist. Three letters. Still only three letters. Cas. Every time he looks at the elegant writing it makes him feel a mixture of pure joy and sadness. When will he finally get to know Cas? That one person that is chosen just for him. Even though he really wants to know what it will be like to meet his soulmate, somehow he's a bit scared. Dean has never been in a serious relationship before, he slept around but feelings were never involved. What if he is just not meant for this romantic loving that one person for the rest of his life thing? What if he simply does not fit into the whole soulmate system? What if Cas doesn't like him? What if- No that's ridiculous. There's no way in hell he won't like Cas, not when he feels so completely overwhelmed and full with love at only reading those three carefully written letters on his wrist. It's probably stupid to love a person you've never even met before but this is Cas. His god damn soulmate.

~

After taking a picture together next to the town sign (It's Uncasville after all, okay?) Sam and Dean continue their road trip through New York and along the Great Lakes. It's a great time but their actual goal isn't getting any closer. When they arrive in Cleveland, Dean has more or less already given up on the idea of finding Cas on this trip. Thinking back shouldn't a new letter have already appeared when they set off if this really was the right way? Sam on the other hand is still nervous because of Stanford, even if he won't admit it. He's just as excited about meeting his soulmate as he's scared of facing their Dad with the news. Both of them try to push that aside in favor of enjoying their trip but the closer they get to going back home, the closer their problems come in mind.

“If we start earlier than usual tomorrow we might make it home by midnight. What do you think, Dean?”

“Why hurry? I'd say we set of as usual, spent a night and morning in Illinois before we make our way home.”

“Okay, sure.”

“Or do you want to get home earlier?”

“No, it's just that I don't want Dad to find the reply from Stanford before I can talk to him. It's ridiculous, the letter probably hasn't even arrived yet anyways.”

“Exactly!” Dean agrees as he pats his brother's shoulder. “It's far too early, the two of us are going to have a great last day tomorrow and easily drive home the next day before you throw yourself into all that stress.”

“All right. Hey, I thin k I'm gonna drink a beer or two. You're coming with me?”

“Nah. I'm tired, Sam. Guess I'll just go to sleep.”

Sam doesn't have to ask what this is about, he knows Dean well enough to understand. “Sleep well, Dean.”

“Thanks.”

~

He doesn't. It takes Dean ages to get anywhere near sleeping, when he eventually does, it isn't restorative in the least. It's straining and fitful and exhausting. When he dreams that night there's nothing to recognize. Everything is just a blur of black, steel blue and beige. 


	2. Illinois

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter! Hope you guys like it. Also I only have rather vague ideas about what will happen so if anyone has suggestions or a bit of inspiration for me I'd love to hear it.

“Dean? Dean!”

“Huh? What?” He turns around in his bed, his eyes eventually being able to focus on Sam right above him. “What do you want?”

“Wow, you're even more fucked up than I am. Didn't you say you want to sleep?”

“I did. Just not good.” Dean mumbles while sitting up in his bed.

“What happened?”

“Don't know, man. It was just a complete, rainbowy mess.”

“... Did you do drugs?”

“What?! No. It was just a weird dream.”

“Nightmare?”

“Dunno. Like I said, just a mix of colors.”

“Colors?”

“Black, blue and beige.”

“Oh an alliteration.”

“Do you think that means something?”

“Well Casb doesn't really sound like a name so I guess B isn't the next letter.”

“No shit, Sherlock. Do the colors mean anything?”

“Well, black is obvious. Beige... absolutely no idea. It's associated with wood or eggs so nature I guess? And blue is a color of royalty.”

“No not that dark one, more steel or baby blue.”

“Uhh don't know... Your first child will be a boy?”

“Yeah, sure. That has to be it.”

They decide to drop the topic. After Dean heaves himself out of bed and gets dressed the two of them have breakfast in the nearest Dinner. When they are done they buy pie and a few bottles of water and beer before continuing their drive through Illinois.

~

Why does his wrist ache like that? It feels similar to the burning whenever he got another letter. But that can't be, right? There's no way driving into a small town in Illinois gets him closer to his soulmate... is there?

“Sammy?”

“Yes?”

“Can you please look at my wrist and tell me that there isn't a new letter on my wrist.”

“Don't think so.”

“Why? What's the problem about telling me that everything is still as usual.”

“Because it isn't, Dean. There is a T.”

“T?”

“Cast. You have Cast written on your wrist.”

Full brake. Over to the roadside. Cast. Dean just stares down at these four letters. Cast, the next letter is a T. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!

“When did it appear?”

“Probably when we passed the town sign.”

For a long while there is just silence, neither of them knowing what to say. It's ridiculous after all! They enter some regular, small town in Illinois and suddenly Dean gets a step closer to meeting his soulmate? How does this make any sense? Well, whoever Dean's soulmate is, the name seems to be pretty long.

_Guess fate is desperately struggling to find “steps” for us, huh Cas?_

“I need to move here.” Dean whispers.

“What?”

“It's the only way, Sammy. I have to move here and find out how I can get closer to Cas.”

“Dean...”

“Don't give me that. You're willing to move to the other side of the country for your soulmate. You of all people should understand, Sammy.”

“Yeah, I know just... Mom and Dad definitely won't be happy about both of us moving out at the same time.” The younger looks really stressed out. Sam moving out will be bad enough on their parents, but both of them...

“I'll wait.” It only takes a split second for Sam to look up and stare at his brother in shock.

“What?!”

“I'll wait a bit. When we come home, we'll tell Mom and Dad. I'll help you move to Stanford when the time comes. Meanwhile I have more than enough time to prepare everything so I can more... here.”

“You don't even know the town's name?”

“The burning in my wrist was a little distracting.”

~

They decide to stay for way longer than planned, look around a bit and get to know the town. Much to Dean's relief there actually are two or three repair shops, all of them are currently searching for employees. It that isn't a sign then what is? The brothers agree to extend their road trip for another night that they spent in the nearest motel. Dean ends up having the exact same dream as the night before, but this time it isn't fretful. He doesn't feel chased and anxious about the mixture of black, blue and beige anymore. It's calming actually, he feels at ease.

~

When Sam and Dean drive home the next day, they're both nervous. Every attempt to hide it is useless, because going home means facing their parents. It means showing them the e and the t and explaining what they want to do now that the writing on their wrists extended.

“Are you ready for this, Sammy?”

“Not in the least. But I can't just back out of it. I've decided that I'll do this for my soulmate, so I'll live with the consequences.”

Dean's heart filled up with both pride and pity. Their parents always made it clear to them how important family, especially their sons, were to them and that they wanted for them to stay close. Telling them about their plans wouldn't be easy. Dean could at least say that he isn't going to move **that** far away. But Sammy wouldn't be able to just get into the car and visit them after a few hours of driving. He'd have to spent either half a fortune on a flight or spent more than a day on the road. But he's going through with this. He stays strong despite all difficulties and insecurities at his young age.

_If only I could make it easier for him. I'm his older brother, there has to be something I can do for him right? But then again, maybe it's time to let go so he can get to know the world on his own..._

~

Coming home, they were immediately greeted with hugs from their parents and questions about their journey, more specifically if they got anything new regarding their soulmate's, but luckily Dean manages to shrug off all the questions, for now at least, by saying he's hungry and wants to eat first. Of course their mom prepared something for them and the fact that she even made pie as a dessert doesn't make Sam and Dean feel any less guilty about their plans.

“So, you still haven't told us. Any news on the soulmate front?” Their dad asks when they're done with eating, cleaning up the table and doing the dishes (Yes, they even volunteered for that in order to escape that conversation a little longer.)

“You could say that.” Dean starts when Sammy clearly doesn't get his mouth open to present an answer. With a smile the elder tugs back the sleeve of his plaid and shows his parents the new letter on his wrist, nodding at his brother to encourage him to do the same. So Sam does. At first their parents are excited of course, though that only lasts until that one question suddenly hovers in the room like a heavy rain cloud.

“I-” Sam takes a deep breath. “It appeared when I sent my application to Stanford.”

“What?!” Of course their father immediately jumps up and stars at the youngest in disbelieve.

“I want to go to college so I wrote some applications. When I sent the one for Stanford I got this here.”

Sam explains calmly while pointing at the e on his wrist. Their dad on the other hand doesn't stay calm in the least. He starts screaming and throwing insults, anger building up more and more. All attempts his mom does to get him to stop fail miserably. Dean knows that if he doesn't listen to their mom then everything's lost anyways. So instead of talking against the wall he decides to put a hand on his brother's shoulder, letting the younger know that he I there no matter what. Sam looks like he's having a hard time trying to blend out all the insults spit into his face in order to just undergo it and let everything roll off. Though they're all at 100% attention when their father suddenly shouts “IF YOU'RE GOING TO STANFORD YOU CAN JUST STAY THERE! DON'T EVEN THINK OF COMING BACK!”

“John what are you saying?!” Their mom intervenes but it only results in both of them screaming at each other.

“Dad, before you disown Sam for wanting to go to college you should know that I'm going to move out as well.” All blood drains from his face when Dean says that.

“You too?! What is fixing cars not good enough anymore?! Do you want to go and study something more fancy?!”

“It's not about studying.” Like Sam the elder tries to keep his composure and explain everything without joining into the fight. “This is about my soulmate. I got my letter when we drove into some small town in Illinois. That's why we extended our trip for one day and that' also why I need to move there. I have to find Cas.”

Their dad is about to lose it again, but gets interrupted by his wife. “John, please. They just want to find their soulmates. Sammy is going to college you should be proud instead of scolding him for leaving the nest. If you jack-knife on their plans you're not just going to lose them, but also me.” He stills at that. For a moment he just stares at their mom before eventually running out of the room.

“I'm so sorry. You two come home with news like that and your father...”

“It's not your fault, mom. Besides we already expected a reaction like that.”

“Still...” Their mom sighs, apparently shoving the fight aside before stepping up to her youngest and cradling his face in her hands. “So Stanford huh? I'm so proud of you.”

“I'm not accepted, yet. They might still reject me.”

“They won't. It'd be dumb to let you go. Besides you got a letter, that means fate wants you there right?”

“Exactly!” Dean agrees while patting his brother's shoulder. “Give it some time everything will turn out fine you'll go to Stanford, become a... Holy shit I never even asked you what you want to study.”

All of them laugh, the mood finally lightening up after the drama earlier. “I want to study law, become an advocate, maybe even a judge someday.”

“Cool, now I'll have someone to call if I run over a jaywalker with my baby.”

~

Their father comes home with a hangover the next day, his wife is already about to scold him for what he did the day before when he suddenly apologizes to her as well as both of their sons. Apparently he went to Bobby's place where later gave him a bashing for treating his family like that, telling him that he should be grateful for his wonderful wife and great sons. It made a dent. They're dad even promises to support Sam at going to college and doesn't flip shit when they find a letter from Stanford a few days latter, instead he smiles. It's bittersweet, just like their mother's smile, but he seems truly happy for his son. He also encourages Dean in quitting his job at the repair shop.

~

When it's finally time for Sam to move to Stanford it's connected with quite some tears, mostly from their mother but after they helped their youngest bring all his stuff into his dorm room even Dean and John shed a single tear. Okay maybe two. Or a few more.

“Promise you'll call every now and then when you're not drunk or hung over.” Dean says with a chuckle while pulling his younger brother into one last hug.

“Guess I'll have to call when I'm high then.” Before they part the blond steals a glance at Sam's wrist. He can't help but grin.

“V.” For a moment Sam looks dumbfounded but then he realizes what his brother meant on looks down as well.

“Good luck finding Kev.”

~

It's strange to live in their house without Sam there. Dean often finds himself walking into Sam's room to talk to him or simply lay around chilling and watching anime with his younger brother but of course every time he enters the room is empty. A lot emptier than it used to be, not just because Sam is missing but also because he took some of his stuff with him. One or two framed pictures of their family had made it into the suitcase for Stanford, along with a few books and, much to Dean's joy, even some mangas he bought his brother for Christmas years ago. He glances down at the amulet hanging around his neck on a simple black cord. They always treasured each other's gifts. Of course they liked the presents they got from there family or friends as well but Sam and Dean just had a special sense to make the other happy so they always found the best presents.

~

Not long afterwards it's Dean to leave Lawrence and move into his new home. Since he doesn't have high standards he found an apartment rather quickly. It was small but big enough for one person and definitely homey.

“That's the last box.” His dad announces, setting said object down next to his son, who immediately feels a familiar burning sensation in his wrist. This time it's an i that was added to the writing on his wrist.

“Looks like I'm on the right path.”

~

The next day, Dean has a job interview at a repair shop nearby. He is a lot more relaxed than the first time he had to do this. His new boss, a guy probably around Bobby's age called Rufus, makes his decision rather quickly, asking Dean when he would be able to start working.

“How about right now?” The man laughs at that, getting up from his seat to offer Dean a firm handshake

“Welcome to Turner's repair shop, Dean.” The younger can feel the burning in his wrist again.

_Fuck yeah another step! Hope you're ready, Cas._


	3. Holidays at home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyho I'm back with a new chapter! Hope you like it! :)

_What the hell kind of a name starts with Castie? Cas, cas, Cas...tiana? Castiera? Castiechita? Castiendra? Castielicia? What if it's a compound name? Castiera-Kim? Castienne-Lisa? Castiella-Llión? Castiena-Leia? Why do those ideas keep sounding spanish? Well I definitely wouldn't complain if she was actually spanish._

Dean knows it's useless to think about it. Fate seems to have some sort of spell to prevent him from finding out his soulmate's name before their first meeting. Which makes guessing even more interesting. He has a bet going on with Sam that if one of them manages to guess their soulmate's name before meeting them the other owes him 20 bucks.

With a sigh Dean turns around in his bed. He should be sleeping but Cas keeps occupying his mind. There are nights when the blond barely gets four hours of sleep because he spends ages laying in bed and thinks about what his soulmate might be like regarding both looks and personality.

_Damn it, Cas! When will you finally let me sleep?!_

Strangely enough, Dean immediately feels a little sorry for mentally screaming at his soulmate like that. He mumbles a low “Sorry, Cas.” into his pillow before closing his eyes and eventually falling asleep after a short while.

~

Sadly things don't progress that fast anymore. Dean has already worked at the repair shop for about three months and so far nothing new has happened. Not like Dean can really complain, he knew Cas wouldn't just magically drop from the sky as soon as he moved to Pontiac. He had still hoped for it. Even though Dean is ready to wait for his soulmate no matter how long it takes, he'd still rather meet Cas sooner than later.

At least Dean loves his job. Rufus may seem like a grumpy old man at first glance but he's an awesome boss, sometimes lets Dean go home earlier when everything is done and from time to time even invites him and the others on a beer after a particularly stressful week.

~

Dean looks around in his apartment, searching for anything he might have forgotten, but apparently he already has everything he needs inside his bag. Just to make sure, he goes through his mental check list once more. He turned off the heater, the oven,... He has enough cloths, enough to drink, some snacks, the presents...

_Yup, that should be it._

He's really glad he gets to see his family during the holidays, Christmas is supposed to be spent with the ones most dear to you after all. If only Cas would be there too...

_I promise you'd love spending Christmas with us, Cas. My mom's cooking is legendary and Bobby tells the best stories as soon as he has enough eggnog in his system._

~

As expected Dean is greeted with a lot of hugging when he finally arrives at home. Even though he called everyone regularly it's not the same as seeing them every day, so actually being with them in person is really nice for a change. Though Sam is a little bit of a shock. He looks so different all of sudden. His skin is tanned, his hair grew longer, his face looks more grown up and somehow the bitch actually managed to get even taller.

“Nice to see you again, Sasquatch.”

“Sasquatch? Really?”

“Yes really, bitch.”

“Jerk.”

God, he missed this so much. Apparently it's the same for Sam who smiles like and idiot before pulling his older brother into a bear-hug.

_Son of a bitch, he's taller than me now._

~

Christmas is wonderful. They finally get to see the entire family, along with some friends that already count as family, again. It's a huge family party with dinner, lots of story telling and laughter. As hours pass more and more people go home until Bobby is the only guest left. That's when they start giving gifts. They all lumped together to buy whiskey for Bobby. Not the cheap stuff he usually drinks but a bottle of some old, really expensive high-quality whiskey. He looks more than content with that. Sam too seems really happy with the Gandhi book he gets from Dean, he's a huge fan after all.

“Time for your present.” At that Sam hands him something in a baby blue wrapper with a golden ribbon wrapped around it. Dean frees it and stares at the content for a moment.

“You got me a signed Led Zeppelin album?”

“Yup.”

“Wow, thanks, Sammy!”

~

_What would Christmas with Cas be like? Would we celebrate alone? Or with my family? Maybe with her's? Would Cas help mom with cooking or would she try to stay with me? Would she be social or just talk to me and maybe Sam?_

No, Dean can't even stop thinking about Cas on Christmas. If only he'd find her already. But nothing is progressing. The writing on Dean's wrist just won't change. Maybe it's because Cas isn't getting any further? What if she isn't doing her two steps to get the e and a of Dean's name? It doesn't have to be on purpose but what if Cas just can't figure out what's the right thing to do? Hell, what if it **is** on purpose? What if Cas doesn't what to meet him? Maybe she's in a relationship? Not everyone's like Dean and avoids falling in love and having anything involving serious feelings with people who aren't his soulmate. What if Cas loves someone else and doesn't need Dean? The worst part about that is that Dean could never bring himself to actually be mad about it. Disappointed, sure. But he doesn't think he could be angry at Cas, because he wants his soulmate to be happy. If that means letting Cas go so she can be with someone else... Dean might actually do it.

_Does Cas think about me too? Does she wonder what kind of guy I am? What I look like?_

Dean wonders if he gets anywhere near those expectations Cas might have. Or is he completely different from Cas' imaginations? What if he's simply not Cas' type?

_Son of a bitch what am I thinking about? I should be sleeping!_

~

Dean is completely exhausted the next day. He never sleeps well after thoughts like that. Fantasizing about Cas, in both the good and the bad way, has already costed him hours and hours of rest and it doesn't seem to get any better now that he is already at six letters. Luckily, he's still with his family so that distracts him a little and lets him forget those nagging thoughts as long as they're around. That is until New Year's Eve, because midnight means New Year's Kiss and, as usual, Dean doesn't have anyone to kiss. He doesn't have Cas to kiss, which makes him feel miserable to say the least. But like every year Dean tries his best not to let anything show, drinks lots of beer and jokes about kissing Sam when it gets midnight.

~

The holidays are over far too fast for everyone's taste. But there is no helping it. Dean has to go back to Pontiac and Sam has to get his ass back to Stanford in time. So they part in the early morning with a lot of hugs, promising that Dean will drive slowly (as if) and that both of them will call as soon as they are home.

The next airport is about an hour away and is more or less on Dean's way home anyways, so he drives his brother there. Pretty much as soon as they're out of town Sam speaks up.

“Dean I think you owe me 20 bucks.”

“How come?”

“I think I guessed my soulmate's name. I've been thinking about it for months and can't come up with any other name that starts with Kev. So yeah... I believe my soulmate's name is Kevin.”

“A dude? Dad won't be happy.”

“Dean!”

“What? As if it's new to you that dad doesn't think much of homosexuality. But that's his prob-”

“That's not it. I got an i, Dean.”

“What?!”

“Kevi. Looks like I'm on the right track with Kevin. Where are my 20 dollars?”

“Not so fast. You get them after you meet that son of a bitch.”

“Hey, don't talk about Kevin like that!”

“Okay, okay I am very sorry I insulted your soulmate.”

Dean states in theatrical way, grinning to himself and lightly shaking his head.

_And **he** always makes fun of **me** for being whipped?_

~

The rest of the drive passes rather normally, the two of them either chatting about everyday life or listening to the music. It's not exactly Sam's taste, but he isn't the driver so he already knows better than to complain. Dean accompanies his brother to the airport and stays until it's time for Sam to get on the plane.

“See you again next holidays, Sasquatch.”

“Sure, jerk.”

“Bitch.” Sam simply pulls him into a tight hug at that. “Take care of yourself, Sammy.”

“You too, Shawty.”

~

As much as Dean loves driving his baby and listening to his music on maximum volume, it can't stop his thoughts from wandering off to his favorite topic of all time: Cas.

_So Sammy knows his soulmate's name now. Cas sure as hell already guessed my name as well and I still have no idea... Just how hard can that be? There has to be a way to guess that name!_

Dean already tried searching the internet for possibilities but apparently Cas' name is rather exotic. No matter how many web sites for baby names the blond visited, there weren't any female names that included Castie **and** had the right length.

_Maybe it's some variation of a different name? Or there are simply several ways to write it and the one with Castie in it is just pretty rare? Or Cas' parents just came up with something on their own. Castiella? Castienne? Castielleja? Castiecia? Or maybe it **is** a compound name after all. Castiera-León? Castie-Anna? But those are all far to long. What if it's Castie-_

Dean is ripped out of his thoughts by a bright, blinding light. His eyes widen as he gasps in shock.


	4. Discarded limbs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry it took me so long. Actually I had already finished this chapter a while ago but wasn't really content with the outcome. Thanks to a lot of brainstorming with FelixMaroussia I rewrote about half of it. I hope it's better now and that you'll enjoy reading! ^^

“Dean. Dean?!” Very carefully he opens his eyes a bit just to immediately screw them shut again.

_So fucking bright!_

He throws his head to the side, trying to avoid the glaring light but regrets that choice at once when his head suddenly feels like a lightening struck through it. Dean groans and attempts to bring up a hand, which only causes even more pain.

“Don't move!” A feminine voice exclaims. It sounds strongly like...

“M-mom?”

“Yeah, it's me. Do you need something?”

The more Dean comes to his senses the more he realizes how his entire body aches. Everything feels sore but his head and his left arm are the worst.

“Pain killers and a cold beer would be nice.”

“Pain killers. I'll be right back.”

“How are you doing?” This time it's a masculine voice.

“Dad?” Dean opens his eyes a bit once more. It's still far too bright but it works. “I'll live. Killing a Winchester isn't that easy.”

“That's good to hear.”

“What happened?”

“That's what I wanted to ask you! You got into a car crash with a SUV that got off track. All the witnesses said it happened far enough away but you only seemed to react in the last second.”

“I-I have no idea. Everything I know is that I brought Sammy to the airport and- Wait does Sammy know already?”

“No.” His mother answers she enters the room. “We tried to call him but he was probably on the plane at that time.” She sits down on the edge of the bed and looks at her son in concern. It's only when she cups his face with one of her hands that Dean even realizes he has a band aid wrapped around his head. “I told a nurse that you're awake. You'll get some medication soon.”

~

According to the nurse he has a mild concussion, a cut at the left side of his forehead and a bruised arm. After Dean gets something against the pain and the stuff starts to kick in his head fills like it is filled with cotton. But it's still way easier to think like this than with that stinging pain splitting his head in half. At some point his parents have to leave but they say that they'll stay in a motel in town and promise to visit him again the next day.

Dean decides that sleeping is probably the best medicine right now, so he tries to do just that. While he does that he also attempts to remember what happened before the accident, but it's pretty difficult thanks to the concussion. He remembers bringing Sam to the airport, waiting with him, then saying good bye and driving away... He thought about Cas. But what? And why? There was something. A trigger. Probably before they arrived at the airport...

_Cas. Soulmate. Soulmates. Sam. Sam's soulmate. Kev... Kevin._

Sam's soulmate's name is Kevin. He got the i during their drive to the airport after he told Dean about his theory. And then, when Dean continued the journey, he tried guessing Cas' name again. Most of the stuff he came up was crap, as usual, but there was also something else. But what? There had been idea over ideas until he got that one idea – accident.

_Son of a bitch seriously?! I was one second away from having a good guess on Cas' name and suddenly a car hits me?! I could have known my soulmate's name by now, instead I'm in hospital! What is your fucking problem with me fate?!_

~

Finally. Stanford. Sam sighs while walking across the campus. It really took him long enough to get here. His plane had had some technical issues they had to fix. So everything got delayed. Being completely exhausted, he slept through the entire train ride and now he's finally made it back in the middle of the night. Good thing he decided to go home earlier than needed, that way he can rest for more than just four hours before classes start.

_Guess I should call and tell them I'm here now..._

Sam is a bit shocked to see that he has three missed calls from his mom and one from his dad when he deactivates the airplane mode. He quickly calls his mom while proceeding to get to the dormitories. It takes a while but when his mother finally picks up she sounds relieved.

“Thank god, Sammy! Are you at home? Are you safe?”

“Yeah of course, my flight just took off later than planned and everything else got delayed why are you so stressed about it?”

“Dean is in hospital. He had an accident after he dropped you off at the airport.”

“What?! Is he okay? What happened?

“He says it's fine. He got hit by another car that got off the track.”

“If it's Dean, 'fine' could mean pretty much everything from a little scratch to a discarded limb. What exac-” Sam is stopped in his tracks when he runs into something. For a fracture second he thinks it might have been a lantern but then he notices the small figure that landed on the floor together with his mobile phone.

“Shit! Sorry! Please don't kill me!” The boy on the ground frantically apologies, picks up Sam's phone and holds it towards him with a chased expression on his Asian-looking features. His hair is black and rather long, for a guy at least, but looks more or less tidy, just like his clothes. His face seems a bit young for a college student, somehow cute. “I'm so sorry I wasn't paying attention.”

“Me neither.” Sam finally dares to speak up in what feels like half an eternity of him just staring down at the figure on the ground. “Sorry.” He is about to take his phone and help the boy up when he sees the writing on his wrist. It says Samuel. The brunet gulps while his gaze wanders to his own wrist, followed by that of the boy on the floor. How had he not noticed the warmth that radiates from his wrist, through his entire arm and into his chest until now?

Sam quickly grabs his phone, says “Sorry, mom. I'll call again.”, hangs up, stuffs the phone into his pocket and helps the poor boy to finally get up from the ground. “Hi, I'm Sam. I guess your name is Kevin?” The black-haired nods, still looking rather shy and a bit (a lot) frightened. No wonder, he is a good head shorter than Sam and was laying on the floor after their collision. “Sorry for running you over I was talking on the phone.”

“About discarded limbs...”

“O-oh uhm no. Actually, m-my brother is in hospital, but he's fine. Though 'fine' is a rather loose word for Dean. He's always fine.” Kevin smiles weakly, finally seeming a bit relieved and more at ease. But he is shivering. Oh right it's still night and winter, which means it's cold, even in California. “Are you cold? Do you want my jacket? Should we go to the dorm?”

“Yes. To all three questions.” They both chuckle while Sam quickly puts his jacket over the shorter male's shoulders and walks him to the dormitories.

~

“Where's your roommate?”

“The way I know him, he'll come back just in time to get to his first lecture.”

“O-oh.” For a moment silence settles between them. They sit down on Sam's bed, awkwardly avoiding eye contact, because they're alone. Completely alone, in Sam's room on his bed, after knowing each other for roughly five minutes. After a few seconds Kevin can't bear the silence any longer and speaks up. “What's your major? If I had seen you in any of my lectures or anywhere on campus before I'd remember.”

“Public Policy. I want to become a lawyer. And you?”

“Linguistics. I grew up bilingual so it's kind of my thing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My mom grew up speaking Mandarin as well as English, so I had no other choice but to learn both languags of course.”

“Wow. Must be a relief that your Dad doesn't speak even more languages.”

“Actually...”

“Don't tell me your Dad speaks Italian or something?” Sam chuckles but quickly stops as soon as he notices his soulmate looking down on the the blanket beneath them, chewing his bottom lip and nervously fidgeting around on the mattress. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, I just...” For a moment the younger falters, taking a deep breath before looking up at his soulmate. “I never really got to know my dad, he died when I was still a baby.”

_Fuck._

“Shit, I'm sorry!”

“It's okay, like I said I don't know him and my mom doesn't talk about him a lot. What about your family?”

“There are just my parents, my older brother Dean and Uncle Bobby, my Dad's best friend who is actually more like a second Dad to us. He always gets our Dad back on track when he starts behaving like an asshole.”

“Just? That sounds like a lot of people. It was always just me and my mom. My mother. Fuck, I should long since be at home!” At that Kevin quickly gets his phone from the pocket of his pants, groaning as soon as he lights the screen. “Six missed calls.” He lets his body fall back to lay on the mattress and stars blankly at the ceiling. “I'm dead. I'm so dead. My mom will kill me as soon as I get home.”

“Can't you call her and tell her why you're late?” Sam leans over the younger a bit, trying to maintain eye contact while they talk.

“You don't understand. She'd crawl through the line and kill me in an even more painful way for not having the balls to face her.”

“Oh. Then let's get you home.”

“Yeah, that would be-” Sitting up, he cuts himself off when he realizes that Sam is suddenly a lot closer than expected, their faces almost touching. He can't help but stare into the taller male's eyes, which are a beautiful symphony of blue and green combined with brown near the pupils. “... good.” For a moment they stay frozen like that, unable to do anything until a obtrusive vibrating breaks the silence between them. “Guess that makes seven missed calls.”

“W-we should really go now, I don't want to get you killed.” At that Sam quickly jumps up from his bed, crosses the room, takes his black Stanford hoodie and tosses it into Kevin's direction. “That should be warm enough. Do you life far away?”

“Just a phew blocks.” His soulmate responds while getting up and pulling the piece of clothing over his head. A bit taken aback, Sam has to admit that Kevin in his hoodie is the by far most adorable thing in the world. Because of their height difference the fabric easily falls down to nearly the middle of his thighs and of course covers his hands, giving him unbelievably cute sweater paws.

“All right. Let's get going then.”

“Hey, about earlier...”

“Yes?”

“I do not speak Italian, but I learned Latin at school.”

“Of freaking course my soulmate is a genius who speaks three languages.”

“Five, actually.”

“Five?!”

~

On the way to Kevin's house they continue talking about different stuff. Sam learns that his soulmate got into school one year earlier than usual, means he's only 17. Also, he learns that Kevin was in advanced placement in high school and was indeed serious about the five languages, though he refuses to tell Sam which languages he speaks aside from English, Mandarin and Latin. But the elder just figures he'll have more than enough time to find out. Sam is really glad he doesn't forget to exchange numbers with his soulmate.

“Do you have time on Friday? We could get a coffee at the shop in front of the library.”

“That sound nice.” Kevin suddenly stops, making the elder turn around and look at him in confusion. “We're there.” He explains quickly, nodding his head to the side.

“Oh.” Taking a look around Sam spots a rather large, neat looking white house down the driveway next to them.

"Guess it's time to say Goodbye then?"

"Actually, I-"

"Kevin!" Both of them swirl around to find an asian looking woman, probably Kevin's mom, running towards while looking a mixture of scared, relieved and really fucking angry. "Where have you been?! I told you to be back at midnight! Why didn't you answer me calls? And who the heck is that giant here?" She turns to glare up at Sam, making him feel pretty intimated even though she's short, even shorter than Kevin.

"M-my name is Sam. Sam Winchester. I'm terribly sorry Ma'am it's all my fault Kevin is that late, If I didn't hold him back he would have long since be at home already. It won't happen again, I promise."

For a moment she just frowns at him, eyeing him from head to toe before speaking up again. "Kevin, isn't your soulmate's name Samuel?"

"Yes, M-mom. Sam is my soulmate." As if to emphasize Kevin lifts up his upper arm, folds back the far too long black sleeve and shows his mother the now completed writing around his wrist. The woman takes a deep breath before smiling lightly.

"That explains a lot." She looks up at Sam again. but this time it's a bit more calm, almost gentle. "It doesn't mean I forgive you two. But thanks for accompanying my son home."

"You don't have to thank me, really. It was no problem at all." For a moment everything is silent. Even in the dark Sam still kind of gets lost in Kevin's deep brown eyes before he remembers that now is not the time for dreamy staring. "I-I have to get going. Good night, see ya."

"Good night, Sam. See you on Friday."

"Yeah." The taller male gives his soulmate and his mother a last smile before turning around and heading back to campus. Only now he notices how fast his heart beats, how sweaty his hands feel, how he feels the argue play with his sleeve or do anything else to keep his hands occupied, but above all he smiles. And he just can't seem to stop.

He met Kevin. He actually met his soulmate, who studies Linguistics, likes Skyrim and Star Wars and looks unbelievably and irrationally cute wearing Sam's clothes. It feels like he has already known Kevin for so long, even though it's barely over an hour. Maybe he feels that way because the littlest things about the younger make him feel happy. Like for example the way he claws at the next best thing, be it his sleeve or the fabric of his pants, when he's nervous. Or the way he tried to hide a smile while he put on Sam's hoodie. It is at this moment that Sam decides to protect this person with his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope the chapter title didn't scare you too much. xD


	5. Please tell me your name isn't Doro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really have no idea what to say, except sorry for taking so long to update and I hope you like this chapter!

Dean wakes up in the morning to his phone playing Smoke on the water. Still half asleep he feels around his night stand for the device, eventually finding it and falling back into his bed. Though he immediately regrets the falling part, because it makes his head hurt. Ignoring the pain, he picks up.

“Sam?”

“Hey! Good morning, Dean.”

“Mornin'.”

“Should I call again later?”

“No 'm already awake.”

“But you should rest. Mom said you had an accident, what happened?”

“That SUV slipped on the other side of the road, I didn't react in time.”

“Are you injured? Does it hurt?”

“You know me, I'm fine. Nurse said I have a bruised arm and a mild concussion. Oh and a cut on the forehead. My head hurts a little but as long as I don't move the rest is more or less fine.”

“Yeah... yeah you're fine.” What is this? His voice sound kind of... dreamy? Also, Dean can hear his brother chuckling to himself.

“Did I miss somethin'? What happened?”

“I uh. Yesterday when I called Mom I ran into someone.”

“Someone...?”

“Kevin.”

“Kev-” Dean, again, forgets about his injures and sits up in his bed way to rapidly, letting his brother hear a suppressed “Son of a bitch!” and other muffled curses. “Kevin?!”

“Yeah, I met Kevin.”

“What the hell are you waiting for? Tell me about him!” Dean laughs while practically feeling his brother's nervousness grow.

“O-okay. So he... he's Asian-American, at least one head shorter me, rather long, black hair and the most beautiful dark brown eyes you can imagine. Also he's a genius who speaks five languages, got into school a year earlier than usual, was in advanced placement and studies Linguistics. He seems kind of shy and looks so fucking cute wearing my sweater.” Sam just keeps rambling, far too fast and without ever seeming to think about his words even the slightest bit.

“Oh? You know him for not even a day and he already wears your clothes?”

“Uh yeah... we ran into each other in the middle night, he was freezing.”

“Right. 'Freezing.'”

“It actually was cold, Dean. He was shivering!”

“Of course he was.”

“Fine, think whatever you want.” It was probably supposed to sound pissed but with the low chuckle following the words, Dean knows that his brother is anything but pissed. “Anyways, I have to get going now. But I'll call you again later.”

“All right, have fun in lecture.” Dean teases with a sly grin.

“Yeah, have fun in hospital.”

~

_So that's what my soulmate is like..._

Kevin gazes out of the window without actually looking anywhere, he's too lost in thoughts about yesterday – the day he finally met his soulmate. Well finally might be a bit exaggerated in his case. After all he had the luck of meeting Sam a bit more than a year after the first letter appeared, most people have to wait a lot longer. He looks down at the writing on his wrist and can't help but smile until -

“Kevin! We need to get going or you will miss your cello lesson!”

_Shit!_

~

Kevin is good at playing cello. He really is. But today it as if he was jinxed. Everything he can think of is Sam so of course his concentration is about as high as pancake but he never thought it would be this bad. He almost brought this piece of music to perfection already but today he just keeps messing up, not just the hard parts but also passages he never really had a problem with before. By the time he finishes the composition Kevin is almost afraid to look up at his teacher.

“I don't think I have to tell you that you never made this many mistakes. Your concentration was practically nonexistent.”

“I'm ve-”

“However” She stops him and suddenly starts smiling “the parts you didn't ruin were beautiful. It seems you finally got the gist of how to let your emotion flow into the music, so keep going like this. Eventually, you will learn to find the right balance between technical perfection and passion.”

“You think so?”

“Of course. It was the same for me. I know it is none of my business but do you mind telling me what happened?”

“I-I met my soulmate yesterday.” While admitting that, Kevin can already feel his face heating up, his cheeks probably turning bright red in the process.

“Well, in that case it would be useless to continue practice. Let's call it a day and continue next week.” With that Mrs Park stands up from her seat and starts gathering her belongings.

“A-all right.”

“See you next week.” She states with a smile, the warmest Kevin has ever seen on her face, then turns around to leave.

~

_Have fun in hospital..._

Dean wanders through the hospital, lost in thought as deep as the dull feeling in his head allows. So his little brother actually found his soulmate. It will probably take Sam a few hours to get out of lecture and be able to tell him more about Kevin and how they met so Dean is left strolling through the more or less empty hallway, then and there filled by an empty bed, a cart or nurses running around.

“Watch out!”

He reacts just in time to turn around and see a wheelchair rushing towards him with a rather pale and scared looking girl inside of it. With his intact arm he reaches out and holds onto the armrest when the vehicle passes him.

“Woah!” The girl is frozen in shook for a moment before tilting her head up to face Dean. “Thanks, I still have no idea how to handle this thing.”

Both of them look down at the wheelchair which is supporting her leg that's lower part is covered in a thick cast.

“Oh, oh dear.”

“What?”

Dean looks up in confusion, finding the girl staring at her wrist and then up at him.

“Please tell me your name isn't Doro!”

“Doro? What the hell kind of a name is Doro?”

“Oh thank god!” She sighs in relief, finally relaxing into the wheelchair and pulling the the sleeve of her hoodie jacket down again.

“No, seriously what kind of douchebag names their child like that?”

“Nobody, apparently but” At that she pulls her sleeve back and reveals the writing on her wrist to Dean. Doro. “I got that o just now.”

“I see. But no, my name's not Doro and that is not my handwriting.”

“Good, because that seriously scared me for a moment.”

_Scared her? Wow, charming._

Just barely suppressing a grin Dean brings his intact hand up to clutch at his heart while putting on his best fake-hurt expression. “Don't you love me, my darling? Why can't you accept that we are meant to be?”

The girl starts giggling, shaking her head before stating. “I'm not into guys.”

“Me neither. I'm Dean by the way, unless you want to continue calling me Doro?”

“Definitely not.” She shakes her head again, smiling widely while she holds out a hand for Dean to shake. “Nice to meet you, Dean. I'm Charlie.”


End file.
